I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
