I feel like abortions should bother me more
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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