He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
