just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
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He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
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I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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