i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
one might say we're banned from that church
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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