If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.