even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"