TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
