Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.