Wow word travels fast.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
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It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle