Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.