1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
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No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs