Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
