We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Boobs are out for the taking
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
And then the night went full on bisexual.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize