You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
as a side note pls kill me
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
