Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize