Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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