That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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