Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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