Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
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All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
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My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I touched a dick in church today
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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