we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I party with great urgency now.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
