I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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