well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
