I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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