you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
