Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
