everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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