Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
