he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
