doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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