dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
