Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize