Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
