marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize