K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
