Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
