He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
