Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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