I got chris browned last night
Are we in a gay sports bar?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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