from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
