You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
