Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
