Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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