well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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