New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
