i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Semen is not good for contacts.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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