I'm really into asian looking animals
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
