Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
