So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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