dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
How external is "for external use only"?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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