you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
