i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
