that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
