Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize