the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize