I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
