8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
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I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize