I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
