Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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