I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
