no, he came in my armpit
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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