My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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