I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
