no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
