I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
