I didn't shave. On purpose
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
