What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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