batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
