you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
