dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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