need another drink. this is the easiest way
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize