Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
