the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
They took my balls.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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