Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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